Age is NOT Just a Number

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35.

That’s the magic number so many women focus on, because that’s the age at which your fertility starts to decline rapidly. But what if I told you that the real number you should be thinking about is closer to 55. Huh? Think about it: you are not just having a child and raising him or her until the age of one. You are having a child and raising him or her at least until the age of 18. So if you have your first kid at 30, you’re looking at a full-time mommy position until at least 48. Want more than one kid? You’re gonna be at it well through your 50s, even 60s. So, you can't just think about your Present (Rich) Mommy self; you need to set up Future (Rich) Mom for success in her later years.

And if you have a partner, it’s important to look at your baby time horizon and account for your partner’s age, too. Maybe you’re around the same age, so your horizon looks similar: kids in your 20s or 30s, and getting back to some semblance of “just the two of us” by the time you’re in your 50s or 60s. But if you or your partner (or both) are older, you have some important considerations to make. For example, maybe you’re in your 30s and you’ve always dreamed of having 4-5 kids, like me. Totally doable, right? But then you meet and couple with a dude who is in his late 40s. Even if you have a kid right now, he’s going to be almost 70 by the time that kid goes off to college. And for your second kid? Solid 70s. That means 80s and 90s by the time you welcome your first grandkid.

Of course, you can start a family at (almost) any age.

As long as you provide a happy and loving home then who am I to judge? But it’s worth considering how your age at various stages of your kids’ lives might impact where you are at in your career and financial life, as well as how physically and emotionally able you are to care for them. Let’s take a closer look at a simple timeline, based on you being 30 and your man being 45 when your first kid is born and featuring some “typical” life milestones:

So, yeah, for the first kid that seems totally reasonable: you’re still young and spry when they graduate from college and are in great shape to walk them down the aisle at their wedding. And you might only want one kid, which is a-okay! But, if so, you’re in the minority: only 23% of Americans have just the one child. It’s for kids #2 and #3 (and beyond) where the math gets a little scarier. And this basic chart allows for a two-year turnaround between kids, which is pretty ambitious. Even if you’re full-steam ahead on popping out kids, life circumstances and fertility issues can and do often get in the way. Are you, or your partner, prepared to be coaching your kid’s 4th grade basketball team in your 50s, when you might be experiencing your first major health issues? How about tackling some major financial milestones (i.e., sending your kid to college) at the same time that you’re trying to retire? Are you ready to welcome grandchildren into the world toward the end of your time on this planet, as you’re estate planning and deciding what to leave behind?

I know this sounds morbid, and I don’t say this to scare you, per se, but to get you thinking about the full time horizon of being a parent. Like so many financial decisions, starting a family is not a short-term play. It’s all about the long game. And investing your time, energy, and of course money wisely over the next 18-30 years will only pay dividends for your kids…and, eventually, theirs.

xo,

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