This Valentine's Day, Commit to Yourself

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I recently published an article with some advice to those readers who are currently in a relationship, and trying to figure out how not to break the bank over Valentine’s Day.

But here’s the thing: whether you are in a relationship, or not, there's one person who you should absolutely be showing some love today: yourself. Yes, you are your most important Valentine. Always have been, always will be.

Here's how I show my future self some love.

Fun fact: I did recently get engaged, and that is something I’ll tell you more about in future articles; but before my boyfriend—er, fiancé (still new!)— put a ring on it: I put a ring on it. Yep, I bought myself a ring.

A lot of people set out to “date” themselves, but I wanted more than the cursory dinner and a movie. For me, “dating myself ” meant going all the way, being all in— and giving myself the patience, attention and affection that I give my romantic partners. And that meant getting serious; with myself, and with my goals.

In order to show my future self some love, I set myself up for success by automating my world. Yes, I automate all of my bill payments and contributions to my retirement accounts and savings accounts, so that I don’t even have to think about it throughout the year. Let me tell you: it’s a beautiful thing. It creates a system where I have my own back, which is a huge part of building financial independence.

But one thing I won’t outsource to my devices is financial decision-making. That I can’t automate, and so I need to set aside time to make those important decisions. I have a calendar reminder for pretty much everything in my life. If it’s not on my calendar, I probably won’t be doing it. I tend to batch entries, like entering all my therapy appointments at once or stalking my best friends on Facebook to make sure all their birthdays are in there. I’ve found the same concept to be super helpful for making regular financial moves, too, so that even when life gets crazy, I keep my money moving—and growing.

Here are four of my favorite calendar reminders that you should set today:

1. Pick one day per year to revisit your spending plan and make any necessary adjustments. I like doing this on the summer solstice, because it’s a great use of that extra-long day.

2. Pick one day per year to increase your contribution toward your savings goals. I like scheduling this for the day before my birthday, because it makes me feel like a grown-up.

3. Twice a year, make sure you set a time to ensure your accounts are automated and running smoothly, including your bills, paychecks, and other direct deposits. This is also a good time to cancel any automatic memberships or subscriptions you’re paying for, but not using.

4. If you have an accountability partner in your financial journey other than a professional—a friend, a sig-o, a family member— set a weekly or monthly check-in with them so they can keep you honest and hold you accountable to your goals.

Don't be afraid of (financial) commitment.

It’s one thing to say you’re going to do all of these things, and another thing to commit to them. It’s a promise to yourself, which should be the most important commitment we make... but tends to be the first one to go by the wayside.

I get it. It’s not easy to commit to re-up your savings contributions without knowing what’s going to happen, especially with your hard-earned money. But you’ve done it many times before—with rent agreements, business deals, or maybe a prenup—and you can do it here. If it feels daunting, or you have an inkling you’re not going to follow through, I have a suggestion: sign a little agreement with yourself to uphold the appointments you’ve outlined on your calendar. Signing something has been shown to make us feel more serious about the commitment.

Here’s an example of what it would look like:

I, (your name), commit to making an automatic financial plan and sticking to it regardless of the scary news, intense peer pressure, or my glorious intuition. I am committing to my future self by scheduling time to revisit my financial goals on (insert date here) every year. Yours, _______________

And then sign on the dotted line! You can give a copy of this agreement to your financial advisor and/or your accountability partner. Heck, you can share it on social media if you want (tag me @nicolelapin and I will repost it if you do!).

This is the beginning of your happily ever after— you didn't need rescuing, and you definitely didn't need to kiss a frog. All you needed was yourself... and a little Beyonce.

Happy Valentine's Day, darlings!

xo,

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