What The Oscars Teach Us About Losing

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A little over a week ago, my podcast Money Rehab was nominated for an award and… lost.

If you follow the show on Instagram— and you should, by the way, at @moneyrehabshow— you may have seen that it was nominated for an Ambie. Ambies are the awards given out to podcasts by the Podcast Academy— it’s a pretty new organization, but it has a really strong reputation in the industry.

There’s an awards show which was in-person this year, so I went. I sat in the third row, next to the aisle; which they tell you to do so that you can get to the stage easily, if they call you up to accept the award.

But I wasn’t called up.

I’m not going to lie to you and say it doesn’t suck. It does.

Whenever someone loses an award, they give some version of the same spiel. Something like “it’s an honor just to be nominated alongside my peers.” I don’t think that’s BS— it does feel really gratifying to see your show’s name alongside other shows you love and respect.

But what’s a little harder to admit— and so fewer people do— is that it’s disappointing to lose. Period. Whether it’s the Ambies, the Presidency, or a bet with your best friend… Losing is not fun.

Being at the Ambies, and then watching the Oscars on Sunday has really got me thinking about the nature of competition in the workplace.

Even if your industry isn’t part of this whole award show rigamarole— I'm sure you have some sort of competition in your work life. Maybe you work in a sales gig and get a bonus for being the #1 sales person on your team. Maybe you own a restaurant and are competing with the other restaurants in your area to be the #1 restaurant on Trip Advisor. Maybe you’re an athlete and every time you show up at work, you’re told you need to be the winner. Maybe you are up for a promotion and need to be the most productive person on your team.

I think the most harmful part about this culture is that if you’re not first, you’re last. You may remember Nathan Chen winning gold at the Winter Olympics. Do you remember who won silver? You may have seen that Jessica Chastain won the Oscar for Best Actress. Can you remember any of the other nominees?

It’s not just the Oscars or the Ambies— in all of these shows, the Tony’s, the Grammy’s, all of them— as soon as a winner is declared, all of the other nominees are all of a sudden “losers.”

The whole experience really got me thinking..

There are two different perspectives: there are these situations in which we feel like we have to outcompete our peers. But there’s also a movement in popular culture telling us to be motivated by our own goals, individually. You’ve heard this, right? This stems from the same school of thought as the idea that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others, and that self care makes you m7ore productive at work.

So which one of these two perspectives is right?

To some extent, I think they both are. I think competition can be good. In the business world, huge companies competing with each other is the force that drives those companies to give us fair prices and innovative products. At the same time, it also is most important— and usually healthier— to think of yourself in a league of your own.

But the more that I think about it, I actually don’t think that your self worth should be the only thing motivating you at work. I know that’s not a popular opinion right now, and may seem surprising coming from me, Miss Independent, but my own hopes and dreams aren't enough to keep me going; especially not for the work that I do.

I’m on a mission to spread financial literacy. I want to prevent people from making the same mistakes I made with my money. So, I don’t put out Money Rehab or my books or the Money Minute for me. I do it for you.

So, I think when it comes down to it: the metric of your success should be whether or not you feel like you’re serving the purpose you set out to serve.

And when I think about it that way— the awards don’t matter. It doesn’t matter that I lost the Ambie, because I don’t make this show so that a blue-ribbon panel of media folks pat me on the back. I make this show for you. And as long as you’re finding what I’m saying helpful, nothing else matters.

Beyoncé was up for an Oscar on Sunday and lost. But is she still making the absolutely hottest music and being an absolute icon? That’s an easy yes. So if Beyoncé is a loser, I’m happy to be one too.

xo,

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